When I opened the “important letter” from my car dealer, I was shocked by an offer that sounded way too good to be true. They claimed that they were in “desperate need” of my car’s model and year. I know that this model is extremely popular and holds its value, so I became curious.
“We will pay you 100% of your car’s MSRP. That’s right – 100%!” the letter shouted in boldface.
The copy explained that even if I bought the car used, the dealer would pay 100% of the original MSRP. Oh, yeah, there was a throw-away sentence about overall condition and mileage. But my car, five years old, had significantly lower mileage than even the 12,000 per year allowed on typical lease agreements. And I had religiously maintained it at that same dealership. It’s in perfect condition.
I love my car, so I wasn’t really interested in trading it in. But I was curious. The MSRP was about $25,000 and I knew I wouldn’t get that much, because after all, it was a car dealer. I called and asked for more details. I asked them specifically: “You mean to tell me that you will put $25,000 toward a new car?” and they said “that’s what the letter says. Come in and we’ll look your car over. If it’s in good shape there should be no problem.”
So I went in. After all, I have a low-mileage, perfectly running vehicle. Even if they gave me $20,000 I might – just might – consider a trade-in. But it still sounded too good to be true.
The first thing they did was to require that I test-drive a new model before they would give me the “100% of MSRP” figure. I wanted to walk out then, but decided that since I had come all that way, I might as well go along with it.
After the test drive the salesperson sat me down and offered me $9,000. That’s about $10,000 less than I could get if I sold my car on my own (I checked before I went to the dealer). She explained that the mileage deduction was the reason.
I sat and stared at her. “I write these letters for a living,” I said. “And this one is totally deceiving. The ONLY way you would pay 100% of MSRP is if I drove a new car off the lot, turned around, and came back in. I got up and stormed out.
That dealer just lost a 16-year customer.
But I gained a new insight into what so many of us writers do. All the way home I asked myself: “Have I misled people in a similar way?” What is the dividing line between emphasizing an offer or benefit and making people think they’re getting something they aren’t?
There are ways to write persuasively without outright lying. That same offer could have been restated in a way that still encouraged people to come in for a test drive, without leaving them disappointed and angry.
It was a serious wake-up call for me, and I hope, for other writers and clients.